Yes, it's time for 20 NHL Headlines.
I've spent the last 17 hours sitting at my computer reading the best and brightest websites, gathering information from hockey stories across the globe. Here's the 20 headlines I found the most informative and timely.
Oilers Replace Ryan Whitney with Whitney from Octane
"She hits harder," proclaimed Oilers Head Coach Tom Renney
Pronger Gone for Season Due to Bad Case of Karma
"Why do things like this always happen to the good ones?" said Pronger
Shanahan Rejects Bruins Bribe of $100k
"No more preferential treatment for less than a quarter mil," exclaimed the outraged Shanahan
Lombardi Trades Kopitar for the Hindenburg
"They call her Indestructible," bragged Lombardi to only friend
Oilers Rig Falls from Roof in Protest After Hearing Goal Song
"Why the hell are they playing Euro-Techno, anyway? This isn't Bratislava," complained the rig
NHL Cancels 2011/2012 Season Due to Crosby Injury
"I don't care if we're 400 games into it already," cried a distraught Gary Bettman
Souray Demands Trade to Edmonton; Centerfold in Playgirl
"Kevin Lowe, bark like a dog," said the confident Souray
Feaster Signs Iginla to a 37 year, $409mil Contract Extension
"It has a no moment clause," beamed the triumphant Feaster
Review Panel Blames Poor Parade Route for Vancouver Riot
"Starting in 2012, the annual Stanley Cup parade won't go downtown anymore," explained the Mayor.
Citizens of Phoenix Finally Realize They Have a Hockey Team
"What are those young men doing on steel blades?" asks Iris Smith, age 97
Sharks Forfeit Playoff Spot
"We would have wasted it anyway," admitted Doug Wilson
Anaheim Goes Back to Being the Mighty Ducks
"We sucked less back then," stated Ryan Getzlaf
Islanders Hire Pat Morita as New Head Coach
"Now show me sand the floor," yelled Morita to confused players at morning practice
Montreal Brings Out Jean Beliveau to Start Skills Competition
"If this won't fire the players up, nothing will," said Jacques Martin
Entire Bruins Team Runs Ryan Miller
"What's the good of bribing the league if we don't take liberties?" said Claude Julien
Howson Breaks Both Ankles; Falls Down Well; Blows Up House
"It's a good thing my job is going well, because the rest of my life is a mess," observed Howson
Joffrey Lupul Realizes He's Joffrey Lupul
Sniper assures fans a 30 game goal scoring drought is to begin immediately
Ovechkin Wows All-Star Game Crowd with Worst Shootout Move Ever
"I'm dating a hot Russian tennis player," explained Ovechkin
Staal Brothers Confuse Doctor Appointment Times
"Damn, I thought it was oldest to youngest, not youngest to oldest," admitted a frail Jordan Staal
Wild Fans File Class Action Suit Demanding Team Play Hockey
"Enough of this defense crap. Let's see some goals!" exclaimed Will Scott, outraged ticket holder
Enjoy your Saturday. Twitter me: @rdcloutier
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • 
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