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Well, That Sucked

October 1, 2011, 2:52 AM ET [ Comments]
Richard Cloutier
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • RSSArchiveCONTACT
You'd think the Oilers beating the Minnesota Wild at their barn after 16 straight loses would be a happy day. Nope. Things are looking a little bleak right now in Oilerville. If the NHL was the Bible, the Oilers would be Job. Nothing ever seems to go right.

Young Taylor Fedun. Best defenseman in Oilers camp this year, even though he's just 22, and even though this was his first time at an NHL training camp. Was he good enough to play his way onto the roster? Yep. Where is he now? At hospital; his leg is in about 12 pieces. Shattered femur, you say? Compound fracture, or was it a comminuted fracture? I forget. All you need to know is, it's bad. Never mind his season being over; his career could end from an injury this severe.

It's worth noting the Oilers beat the Wild with only three defensemen playing by the end of the game. Where did everyone go? To the Mall of America? Hmmm...Ladislav Smid wrecked the buffet and his shoulder. Taylor Chorney's bad knee flared up. Are we having fun yet? The regular season hasn't even begun and the Oilers are down, ummm, six guys? Whitney, Chorney, Fedun, Eager, Gagner and Smid. Yep, six, with four being defensemen. Remember a couple seasons ago when the Oilers had 11 starters out with injuries? We can break that record! Come on, let's try! Like I said, this is fun!

I have some suggestions for injuries. What the hell, right? Instead of trying to predict the Over/Under on game scores or who's gonna win, I'm gonna start betting on Oilers injuries. Let's get creative here, people:

Taylor Hall - Severed big toes (both)
Ales Hemsky - Bee sting
Devan Dubnyk - Whiplash from bungie jumping at WEM
Darcy Hordichuk - Ballerina's Hernia
Linus Omark - Gigantism
Nikolai Khabibulin - Arrested for DDYI AKA Being drunk while doing home repair

The Oilers still have one more pre-season game where more injuries could occur (we can only hope). Saturday, against the Vancouver Canucks. Just who will be in the Oilers line-up? Or should we say, who dares to be? Is it too late to teach Buffy the Vampire Slayer to play hockey? Because that's the only type of player the Oilers can dress with the hopes that a permanent, career-altering injury isn't going to happen to.

You have to know Oilers management are working the phones like crazy right this minute trying to make a deal or trying to get Bryan McCabe to sign up. Steve Staios, come back! Come back, Steve...

Whitney might be playable a few games into the season, but there are no guarantees. Fedun is done. Who knows how healthy or unhealthy Smid and Chorney are...not the Chorney was going to make this team anyway. Against Vancouver, the Oilers will play, ummm, I'll guess Potter, Gilbert, Petry, Sutton, Barker and Peckham? Seriously Tambellini, make something happen. The entire season is porked if you don't bring someone reasonable in.

And Now Some Boring Junk About the rest of the Oilers Roster

- Anton Lander made yet another strong case for himself to make the team. A goal, an assist, the shootout winner...And Gilbert Brule also made a strong case for himself to get sent to Oklahoma City. The boy's game just isn't right. Would it be okay for Lander's development if he was the 4th line guy this season? I'm not sure. I am thinking if the Oilers ever have a prayer of dealing Brule, they need him to shine somewhere first. He'd do better in the AHL than the NHL. With his skill, he should light up the AHL. Please.

- Everyone continues to love Darcy Hordichuk. I don't get it, but whatever. He would have had the winning goal if Gilbert Brule wasn't so stupid.

- You have to give props (what the hell is a "prop" anyway? A big picture of the ocean? A chandelier?) to Ryan Keller, who ended up playing D for the Oilers in the 3rd period. He wasn't half bad. Now off to Oklahoma City you go, and thanks for coming.

- Lennart Petrell...has he done enough to earn a job in Edmonton? He fought. Do Finnish players do that, fight? I listen to this Finnish symphonic metal band all the time called "Nightwish", and their drummer dresses like a pirate. Lead singer is cherry though.

Anyway, Petrell will likely stick around, especially if Lander makes the team. I am not sure the Oilers want to start another season with three rookies on the roster (Nuge, Lander and Hartikainen). What, would Harti be considered a rookie? He got into 12 games last season. Does he still have a new car smell to him? And wouldn't Petrell be a rookie too? He's kinda old to be a rookie.

- Linus Omark cracks me up. He actually didn't have a great game against Minnie. Yet, a goal and an assist. Sadly, if the Oilers need a defenseman immediately, Omark might be the most movable asset. I think if they could have dealt Hemsky, they would have already did it, so it might be Omark who bites the bullet. Me no likey.

The Oilers were suppose to play their Regular Season starting roster against the Canucks on Saturday. They haven't posted anything, but here's my guess at who will play tomorrow:

L1: Taylor Hall - Ryan Nugent-Hopkins - Jordan Eberle (The Black Gold Line)
L2: Ryan Smyth - Shawn Horcoff - Ales Hemsky
L3: Magnus Paajarvi - Eric Belanger - Linus Omark
L4: Darcy Hordichuk - Anton Lander - Ryan Jones
extras: Lennart Petrell, Gilbert Brule

D1: Cam Barker - Tom Gilbert
D2: Theo Peckham - Jeff Petry
D3: Andy Sutton - Corey Potter

G1: Nikolai Khabibulin (for Saturday, at least)
G2: Devan Dubnyk
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