Welcome to my new feature on Hockeybuzz: Fake news fridays. You've all read or at least, I assume, heard of the ONION? Well this is if the ONION were to only do hockey stories. None of these stories are true but all are meant to be light funny and a nice way to get through the long offseason. Some stories will happen in the future, some in the past but most in the present.

For the future stories, I'm using Futurama's idea that people don't die, they just have their head put in a jar.

The first edition is a story forwarded about 400 years and how the NHL has or has not changed.

NHL announces outdoor game on Moon
lack of gravity, air no problem

Well the NHL has finally done it. They've finally chosen to go play hockey where no man has gone before: the moon.

On January 1 2393, the Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers will play a game on the moon.

"We're glad to announce an outdoor game on the moon," Commissioner Gary Bettman's Head said. "The NHL has seen a lot of growth over the past decade, with our Winter Classic and Stanley Cup ratings going through to roof."

The NHL has already started building the arena, grandstands and merchandising kiosks on the moon in preparation for the event.

"The great thing its, we don't have to worry about weather," Sidney Crosby VI said. "That and the low gravity means I can jump to evade a check.

Critics launched a response, claiming "there's no way to breathe on the moon's atmosphere.

"We're afraid they'll just kill themselves trying to play there," President of the Moon Al Gore's Head said.

However, the NHL claimed their players are tougher than the average humans.

"We're tired of these liberals being overcautious," Colin Campbell's head said. "We don't care if there's air or atmosphere. Our players are tougher than to worry about the little things like breathing."

For the fans, however, the NHL is building a bubble around the stands that will simulate Earth's atmosphere.

"I think it'll be cool," Bobby Drake, no relation to the X-man, a Penguins fan said. "It'll be like hockey... in space."

Before the Winter Classic the NHL will also have a retro bubble hockey game with the Heads of Sidney Crosby and Mike Richards heading a team of 20th century players to the delight of all.

"This is going to be a great event," Crosby's Head said. "I can't wait to see how the NHL is going to pull this all off."

Have a suggestion for a story or how to make these better? Email me at avalangelist@Gmail.com

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