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The Pipeline - By the Numbers Edition |
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If you think the numbers don't add up in Edmonton this season, you aren't alone. Things have gotten so bad that whenever I write a blog, I have to wear a paper bag on my head so I won't be recognized.
Anyway, allow me to present Edmonton Oilers by the Numbers; a little entertainment and randomness to distract fellow Oiler fans from the sucking sound that is the 2009/2010 season.
4,250 - The number of shooters the Oilers players can purchase in a Calgary-area nightclub with $17,000.
14,234 - The amount of dishes the Oilers players need to wash at the Calgary-area nightclub in order to settle up the bill the players refuse to pay. Watch for Jason Strudwick to be the official pot scrubber, as he is good in the corners.
33 - The number of minutes it took Pat Quinn to turn purple with frustration during tonight's Oilers/Sharks game.
7 - The number of Oilers players currently attempting to fool around with a local broadcaster so they have justification to request a trade.
72 - The number of points Robert Nilsson would have in a season if he actually shot the puck instead of passing it away every chance he gets.
56 - The diameter a beach ball would have to be in order to ensure Jeff DesLauriers could have stopped it during the Sharks game.
$14.73 - The amount CBC pays Kevin Weekes to do color commentary for Hockey Night in Canada. And he's overpaid.
13 - The number of current Oilers players that should be kept with the team. Sam Gagner, Dustin Penner, Ales Hemsky, Andrew Cogliano, Zack Stortini, JF Jacques, Lubomir Visnovsky, Sheldon Souray, Tom Gilbert, Ladislav Smid, Nikolai Khabibulin, Ryan Potulny and Gilbert Brule.
12 - The number of current Oilers that could/should be moved because they just don't cut it for one reason or another. Shawn Horcoff (overpaid), Patrick O'Sullivan (doesn't try), Robert Nilsson (won't shoot the puck), Ethan Moreau (just not that good), Fernando Pisani (injuries), Marc Pouliot (a bunch of reasons), Ryan Stone (no hands), Jason Strudwick (slow), Denis Grebeshkov (defensive headache), Steve Staios (needs retirement), Mike Comrie (if he was healthy, we may keep him), and Jeff DesLauriers (inconsistent).
5 - The Oilers who will be moved on or before the trade deadline are: O'Sullivan, Moreau, Pisani, Souray and Comrie.
2 - The number of first-round draft picks the Oilers will have by the time of the entry draft comes around.
30th - The position the Oilers will finish in the standings this season.
3 - The number of Oiler rookies there will be next season. Jordon Eberle, Magnus Paajarvi-Svensson, and Taylor Hall.
5 - The number of players that will get a good look in camp, if they come to camp, and could crack the Oilers line-up. Linus Omark, Jeff Petry, Alex Plante, Riley Nash and Chris Vande Velde.
$7.5mil per season - The amount the Oilers will offer to UFA's Ilya Kovalchuk and Patrick Marleau to sign multi-year deals.
1 in 1000 - The chances of Marleau or Kovalchuk signing with Edmonton, even if the Oilers offer the most money.
88 - The amount of times Steve Tambellini will call other GM's to beg them to take Shawn Horcoff's contract off of his hands.
17 - The number of offers Tambellini will be given for the Oilers first round pick. He won't bite though. Be it Hall or Tyler Sequin, the Oilers would win drafting either player.
29 - The number of wins the Oilers will finish the season with. By far their worst year as a franchise.
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • 
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