Hockey Den: The Premier Hockey Card and Memorabilia Destination
Visit us at www.hockeyden.net and get details on how YOU could be our winner of a 2010 SIDNEY CROSBY TEAM CANADA OLYMPICS JERSEY!!! Contest runs from now until February 14, 2010, so enter now and often!!! Capture The Passion with HockeyDen.net!!
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If there’s one thing I despise in pro sports today it’s the post-game player interview. Once a time for some candid reflection on individual and/or team performance, this activity has deteriorated into a string of pre-programmed stock responses. “We need to get back to basics”, “We need to shoot more”, “They had us playing their game. We need to get back to ours” , “We’re giving 110%”, “We need to work the puck down low”, “We have to play all 60 minutes”, “We have to finish our plays/checks”, yadda, yadda, yadda.
In the midst of the Leafs current six game skid to start the season I have to say that I’ve been pleasantly surprised to not hear a lot of this stuff from the players. That being said, this seems to be due in large part to the fact that I’m hearing next to nothing from the players to begin with! The relative silence from the roster in the midst of this has been rather deafening. At the same time this allows me the entertainment value of putting words in their mouths! So without further adieu, here are 15 excuses for the start of the season that I would pay money to hear come out of the mouth of a Leafs player or rep!
1. We wanted to prove people would still come even if we literally never won a game.
2. We're trying to get Coach Wilson to the point where, a la "Major League", he tries to motivate us by removing a piece of clothing from a cardboard blowup of a nude Brian Burke each time we win.
3. Oops! We've gotten so used to golfing the past few years we're all a bit fixated on the "low score wins" thing.
4. We're actually the best team in the East by far and as a gesture of good will to the other 14 teams we're going to spot them 10 games or so to start the year.
5. In an attempt to take everything we can away from our provincial rivals, we've dedicated ourselves to smashing the Senators 92-93 record of 10-80-4. Ten wins? Try nine you double-digit a**hats!!!
6. After 20 games without a win the “Most Valuable Primate” takes over as first line center, hillarity ensues and we learn a little bit about ourselves in the end.
7. The absolute desperation and inability to win will eventually lead to even the haters feeling sorry for us. Chiarelli, in a moment of unguarded pity, will insist we take back the picks we gave for Kessel. Leaves us with Kessel, our picks back, and a lottery pick for the draft! Ab-so-lute-ly brilliant!
8. We took a payoff from the rest of Canada to be so bad that the CBC would have no remaining rational reason for having us featured in the national broadcast every Saturday. You’re welcome.
9. Nothing like a winless season to make the following year's unbeaten one even more dramatic, right?
10. We play this way until the Olympic rosters are finalized so our roster doesn’t get stripped by invites! Wouldn't want any of our top talent to get injured, especially our goalies...oh wait....
11. We have to guarantee that the ACC will be available mid April for the week long run of "Monkeys on Ice"
12. We refuse to win another game until Jim Balsille is given what's rightfully his: Another team in Toronto!!!
13. Seems we all had relatives in Nigeria who have passed away recently. In addition to the collective mourning we're all doing for these as until recently unknown kin, we're also preoccupied waiting for those bank transfers we sent off to clear so we can get those 3 million dollar inheritances we've got coming to us!
Remember to visit us at www.hockeyden.net and get details on how YOU could be our winner of a 2010 SIDNEY CROSBY TEAM CANADA OLYMPICS JERSEY!!! Contest runs from now until February 14, 2010, so enter now and often!!! Capture The Passion with HockeyDen.net!!
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