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Thank You Ottawa and Toronto!- Matthew Barry

March 18, 2009, 11:30 AM ET [ Comments]
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Thank you for winning! Keep doing it! You’ve just given the Kings the 6th pick in the draft which means should the Kings win the draft lottery… Hedman!

I’m sorry Ottawa and Toronto fans, but if your two teams are anywhere NEAR 5th worst, you’re winning the lottery and drafting Tavares.

Has anyone ever SEEN the lottery drawing? Is the lottery drawing even REGULATED by anyone? Who is to say that there’s not some greasy guy named Mo who has a vested interest in where their team selects? Most of us wait on pins and needles in the hopes that our team moves up four spaces.

For those who need a recap of how it works: Fourteen balls, numbered one to fourteen are put into a lottery machine and four of the balls are drawn, forming a series of numbers. A probability chart is then used that divides the possible combinations among the 14 non-play-off teams. The four numbers are compared to the probability chart to determine which team has that number combination.

Raise your hand if you actually REMEMBER anything you ever learned about math in high school? I took Chinese math and this STILL doesn’t make sense.

Nobody in any government raised the question coming out of the lockout year that Pittsburgh just HAPPENED to win the lottery that season? The same Pittsburgh franchise that was bankrupt, about to be sold and moved to Vegas or Hamilton?

It just so happens Sid the kid is the first pick? Are you joking? Where would the Pittsburgh Penguins be now had they selected Marek Zagrapan?

There is no way in hell the NHL is ever going to allow John Tavares to play for the Islanders.

If Toronto or Ottawa finishes with the 5th worst record, you KNOW what’s going to happen – yes, they WILL win the lottery and select John Tavares.

John Tavares will become a superstar – a media darling – THE new face of the Toronto franchise or an addition to a sickening force in Ottawa. Another budding youngster the NHL can promote.

I just can’t picture John Tavares playing in the Nassau County Memoriam Mausoleum. Yes, the Islanders have a fantastic group of young players, but the difference to the NHL of having Tavares on the Island or in Toronto/Ottawa is like having Britney Spears or Fiona Apple at your high school reunion party.

So please. Keep winning. Toronto will jump the Kings anyway, but at least I won’t have to listen to Toronto fans talking about how great John Tavares is for the next 20 years.
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